Wednesday, April 22

Wednesday--It's the Hillbilly Sabbath

We set off this morning with a plan to get some tires fixed for our big tractor mower deck. Off we go into Ashland City to the tire shop across the street from the Tractor Supply. Easy peasy, right? Now, you know better than that....
First, the tire shop can do it, but they only have 2 tubes and we have 4 tires. Hey, no problem...we will run over to Tractor Supply and get two more tubes and bring them back. Off we go.......
So, we get back to said tire shop with our two tubes to add to the first two tubes and it seems he decides that he cant do this for us after all. Some machine problem that I care nothing about, blah, blah, blah. Now I still have 4 tires and 2 tubes and that is crap.
Some other guy in the tire shop says, "Hey, there is a small engine repair shop in Pleasant View....they could fix those for ya!" We say, "why thank you helpful man...ever so much". We hop in the car and decide that is the ticket. We will go to "the engine shop" in "Pleasant View". Pleasant View is like 10 minutes from where we are....no problem. It's all good. Off we go.......
We are now on 49 headed in the right direction and Chris says, "get us a map". I, being a proud member of the iphone club, whip out my little 3G dream and Google us up. It seems "the engine shop" is not in Pleasant View after all, it is in Chapmansboro. Chris's immediate reaction to this news was "oh no...".
To get to Chapmansboro you go exactly half way between Ashland City and Pleasant View, take a left and drive until you die of old age. It is right next door to Bumblebee Egypt. So, with directions in ipod, me now completely wanting to vomit from carsickness, lack of breakfast and looking at the "map", off we go.......
We drive and drive and drive up hills and down hills. Over the river, through the woods. The creepy Deliverance banjo music is about to deafen us (this is actually a lie...it is really lovely and some of the homes are gorgeous, but did I mention my nausea...I was not feeling it at the time). So, like 700 million miles into this journey, led entirely by google maps (may they rot in hell) we nonchalantly speed buy a sign that says "road closed ahead"...."surely they dont mean this road, right?" No, wrong...DETOUR!! So, we take a left and off we go......
We now have no idea where we are, just that we are going left and that that is the general direction the road is that we are looking for. Google Maps has now decided we are too far gone to even deal with and has quit us completely. We actually find it eventually, take a left, turn around because it was really right and continue on. (Yea, yea...off we go....)
So, finally, at long last we come to "the engine shop" and we find this...

the engine shop--closed on wednesday
Now, in case you cant see this clearly, the sign above the second office sign says "We are Closed" and the white, handwritten sign in the right hand window...my favorite...says "Closed on Wednesdays". There are also about 50 more signs telling me how to act, but they werent there to enforce any of them because---wait for it---they are "CLOSED ON WEDNESDAYS". Apparently that is a theme is Cheatham County--you can also not go to the dump on Wednesdays because they too are "CLOSED ON WEDNESDAYS".
So, we are 5 zillion miles from home, food and civilization now and still have 4 flat tires and 2 tubes which still equals crap. We backtrack through this endless maze and decide enroute that the way to go is to take the tubes back to Tractor Supply and buy 4 new solid rubber tires so we never have to deal with this mess again. Yes, they are too expensive and yes, I am now half dead of starvation and overwhelming vomitatiousness and I don't really give a crap. Just buy them already!! He tries to, but they dont fit our mower so he buys 2 more tubes. We now have 4 tubes and 4 flat tires and go get Chinese food. Then we go home and super-husband somehow fixes all the tires with a screwdriver and an air compressor--dont ask me how, but they are fixed.
The End. Oh wait, and I got new neighbors today...add that to my list of complaints.
~FINIS~

2 comments:

  1. for some reason this trip sounds familiar,..oh wait thats just how i feel driving to Katelyns house! lol thats too funny!

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